There are lot of things I want to do, jump, sing, dance ,play a game, shout so hard that I have to be careful to keep my butt from falling off. Sing so hard people would actually have to beg me to stop and play so hard as if my life depends on winning. But I’ve never really done any of the things I mentioned. Pretty crazy right? I know. Now whenever any of those things come into my head, here is a run down of my thoughts;” What is Ifeoma going to say if she sees me doing this?”, ”Well, Amaka thinks am perfect, how will she feel?, ”Amarachi said I’m her role model, won’t she be disappointed?” and all together, won’t they say, ”Ha!! Even Osinachi!!?
Always a people-pleaser, I’ve never really been me. I have always thought so hard about how Ivy would see this?, What Kyle would think?, What Olanna would say?, What Jesus would do? Now that brings me to the word, ”REPUTATION”.
Some days ago ,I danced ”Shoki” in class. Lol, right? yeah, I did. It sounds funny because I’m the” damn ” quiet type of girl. But I felt like doing it, and I did. An incident led to it, a course mate and friend of mine who had carried a weavon for more than two months decided to let it go. We had already termed it ”semester hair”, a hair that could last up to a semester and beyond. That morning I was feeling happy while I walked into class ”free styling” [there was no lecturer in there, anyway-hmm I dey mad?] Then I saw Chibuzo out of her ”semester hair”. I just started dancing ”Shoki” [I have always wanted to do that, but thought I’d look strange doing it]. I did look strange though.
My course mates who saw me were very surprised but I managed to put a smile on their pretty faces. Believe it or not, I felt very relieved. Some even walked up to me and said ”Cynthia, I didn’t know you could actually shake like that.” I felt so good about it. Like it was as if I was out of the ”good girl” veil and actually did something I’d always wanted to do.
I wouldn’t want to bore you with my dry stories, but I’m actually trying to send a message. I learnt something; Do what you want to do, what makes you happy as long as it doesn’t hurt others. A friend was narrating to me the other day what he did in a fast-food. It was not just any fast-food but a big one where people trooped in and out like ants on a plate of sugar .He told me he was served rice and chicken with his friends about three of them. After eating his food, he started drumming with the bones on his plate [now, this sounds so embarrassing].He hit it so loud that the people around noticed. After laughing at him, I asked, ”Why would you do that? he gave me the simplest answer, ”Because I wanted to” which made me happy.
That was all. He wanted to open a band station or rather, ”a bone-drumming” station on his plate, just because he wanted to. That is something I have started doing, and I am happier than I was when I was described as ”Perfect”.
So pals ,don’t wait for a dude or girl to come into your life and make you happy. You have the power to make yourself happy by doing what you have always wanted to do[Not the bad ones o, abeg if you feel like committing a sin, biko pray for the Holy Spirit]. If you can crawl out of that ”perfect” life, that cloud called ”reputation” and the evil spirit called ”the what-if” spirit, I bet there is going to be a change. I am me and I am proud of it . Are you?
Article Credit: Osinachi Cynthia