Greatest of all, “Love”
Jennifer Chioma Amadi
I always thought he was the one with flaws and I was flawless.
I wait for every mistake like a predator and keep count of all the wrongs.
I am kind to many who I feel deserve it but to him, I feel he has to earn it before I show kindness.
It is quite easy to always lash out my anger because I feel he asks for it.
It is obvious I dread forgiving him because to me it is a forbidden deed.
I always put myself first and carry myself in an intimidating manner, in order to make him feel worthless.
I always rejoiced when terrible things happen to him.
Yet he keeps coming back.
He never fails to do the opposite of all I bring to our table.
I feel it’s just pretense that will end really soon but yet year in year out, things remain the same. No dwindling! I think him a fool for being consistent. So, I summon the courage to ask why. Why show so much love to me when all I do is hate?
Though I can’t see him, I’ve never seen him, I feel he is smiling. I only hear his voice. His decision to be with me even with the knowledge of my blindness keeps hunting me. He always makes me feel my eyes are the only ones that couldn’t see but my heart as well is blind. So, all I do is to listen to his soft, deep rich voice and feel the sincerity that flow with each word he says as he holds my right hand;
“Love is kind, patient and doesn’t envy
Love is not easily provoked , its enduring and suffers long
Love is not self seeking and isn’t proud
Love doesn’t count wrongs, doesn’t rejoice in evil and isn’t quick to judge
Love bears all things, believes and hopes all things.These and more are the reasons why I can’t give up on you, Nengi”
He leaves, leaving a bunch of roses on my laps, kisses my hand and whispers “Happy Valentine’s day, honey!”